Minnesotans Learned What A Whizzinator Was 20 Years Ago Today
The jokes wrote themselves.
On April 21st, 2005, then-Vikings running back Onterrio Smith had his bags searched at Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport. Although nothing illegal was found in his bag, an interesting item was noted in the police report: "The Original Whizzinator."
While most people likely had no idea what a Whizzinator was before this incident, it is safe to say that it was the talk of the town in May of 2005. As it turned out, "The Original Whizzinator" is included a 'fake penis, bladder and athletic supporter,' along with 'several' vials of dried urine.
While marketed as something else entirely, 'most consumers' purchase the device to try to cheat a drug test per Wikipedia's extensive entry for the product. The prosthetic has the appearance of real, er, human anatomy, and the dried urine is combined with water and heated in advance to simulate actual, clean uring.
Smith had previously been kicked out of college at Tennessee for using marijuana, per ESPN, and had been suspended twice by the NFL already for marijuana offenses.
Two months later, Smith was suspended for the entire 2005 NFL season for a third violation of the NFL's substance abuse policy. He was cut by the Vikings before the 2006 NFL season began. After a failed attempt to catch on with the Canadian Football League, he retired from playing professionally.
The Whizzinator, if you are wondering, is still available for purchase, as is its female version known as the 'Whizz Kit."
What a time to be alive.
More From 1390 Granite City Sports
