Expert: This is The Safe Way For Minnesotans To Deep Fry a Turkey

Gobbling turkey (I will NOT apologize for that) on Thanksgiving is tradition. Haven't you heard? Where have YOU been? Weirdo.

Posers like to do things the "traditional way" by roasting a turkey in the oven for three days or whatever. I've never actually roasted a turkey, outside of some biting wit.

Grease fires are no laughing matter...unless we're watching some a video of dumdum trying to put a grease fire out with water. Always a great time for the spectator. The helicopter parents at The National Fire Protection Association say that deep fryers unalive five people and cause $15 MILLION in damage every year.

That's the price of freedom funny online videos.

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There are plenty of ways to f#$% up deep-frying a turkey. The most common are:

• having too much oil in the fryer when you drop in the bird, causing an overflow of scalding oil
• putting the fryer on uneven/unstable ground and the entire thing tips over

So what does the National Fire Prevention Association recommend for those who want deep-fried turkey for Thanksgiving? Go buy it - already fried - from the grocery store or a restaurant. Or use an air fryer.

An air fryer? That'll make your nutbag conspiracy-loving uncle thrilled! "Git them 5G chips outta my turkey! I don't want the gubmint listening to my stomach!"

NOBODY WANTS TO LISTEN TO THAT, UNCLE GREG!

H/T: The Takeout