Hip Hip…OUCH! I’m a Middle-Aged Old Man Choad
As mentioned by Laura (many times) on the morning show, I have a bad hip. Basically, at age 44 I have the hips of an elderly former professional wrestler.
Just call me FLANNDOLF!
I've had a bit of a bum hip since elementary school. Spending my teens, 20s, and 30s in rock bands jumping around like a moron with a guitar or bass strapped over my shoulder didn't help.
I've tried many remedies, short of seeking out a shaman...which is starting to look more appealing with every failed attempt at long-term relief. In fact, my last day on-air before my stint on the injured list was spent battling a moving pain gremlin. Every time I had pain in one spot under control, it would move to a different spot. That was fun.
Here's what I've tried:
The ol' bone cracker! The first adjustment I received after my hip problems kicked into high gear actually made me yelp...and then laugh. At first it hurt like heck, but then the relief kicked in and I caught The Giggles. Multiple trips every week helped, but as those bills added up the relief period got shorter.
The next step was a round of sessions on the electronic traction table. You know that meme about how at some point while on a medieval torture rack, there must've been a few moments where it felt AMAZING? It's true. It's so true. After a batch of a dozen sessions, I finally felt normal...
...for two months, then the gremlin returned very suddenly. The
torture rack traction table was helpful, but the treatments were expensive (and since it worked, not covered by my insurance. Yay, 'Merica!), so I tried other remedies.
Specifically, myofascial release therapy. It felt great, but like the chiropractic treatments the relief was short-lived.
Same story with ice packs, ibuprofen, IcyHot, and even THC/CBD pain relief lotion. They'd work day one, then not work on day two.
I have a TENS machine from previous injuries that's managed to find the very specific nerve that's causing my issues. Unfortunately, there isn't a setting that doesn't either hurt like heck or not help. Figures.
For the time being, I'm sleeping on a heat pad and taking - and I'm not lying - OTC menstrual relief meds. It (usually) takes the edge off. And I've taken the fun walking stick that I bought at the Renaissance Festival years ago and started using it for getting around.
Any relief ideas that I haven't tried yet? I'm all ears!