If there's one thing I can't stand about consultants, it's the, "what works HERE should definitely work THERE" policy. Sure, talking nonstop about sports in a market that regularly appears (and often win) in championship games will work in that market, but Minnesota is a little...uh, not that.

Aside from the Twins in '87 & '91; and the Lynx in 2011, 2013, 2015, and 2017. Those don't count...

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But I do! Ah! Ah! Ahh! (Getty Images)
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I'm on board with this, though.

A bill in New York City (gittarope) seeks to introduce "noise cameras". What the actual heck are "noise cameras"?

They're cameras that activate if a vehicle's noise reaches 85 decibels from 50 feet away.

Time to patch up your s**tbox.

2005 Summer NBC Television Critics Press Tour - Day 13
Don't say it...do not say it... (Getty Images)
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Why Do We Need Noise Cameras?

The bill is in response to the ever-rising number of noise complaints about loud vehicles. It doesn't separate the rusty loud vehicles from the loud vehicles driven by guys birthnamed Rusty.

Thats a hurtful stereotype, hoss! Photo by Dan Becker on Unsplash)
That's a hurtful stereotype, hoss! (Photo by Dan Becker on Unsplash)
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There's really nothing like being out for a peaceful walk only to be interrupted by a dingus driving a vehicle with an exhaust system that can be best described as "cosmetic only". Or perhaps it's 2am on a Tuesday and the world is sleeping, except for Greg in his Civic that's decked-out with an amplified-kazoo exhaust.

In either case: sorry 'bout your d*ck, bro.

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Fines for violations start at $800 for a first offense, with a third (you really should've gotten this taken care of by now) offense costing you $2,625.

It'll likely pass in NYC, and I think it should be brought up in Minnesota.

Right after they pass a bill regulating LED headlight brightness and aim.

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Aynt comepleyeng, hoss! (Getty Images)
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