Have you noticed these ridiculous commercials about toilet paper lately? We have everything from kids jumping on clouds to bears cuddling with it. Why are bears involved in marketing toilet paper and since when is a bear cuddly? Let’s get realistic.

It’s toilet paper. It has the worst job in the world. From the commercials, I’m not sure if they want me to take it to bed and snuggle with it or wipe my ass.

I made the biggest mistake of my life and went to a toilet paper facebook page. If you want to see a page full of idiots…check out one of those. First of all, to all people who post and complain on a toilet paper facebook page…shut up. Second, you do know that you have the option to complain in private, don’t you? Your wiping habits, the fact that you blame toilet paper for your clogged toilet and your ass rash doesn't need to be public information.

The new marketing strategies are all about “the clean”, right? Getting you clean, keeping you clean, call us if you can’t get clean. Really? Call us if you can’t get clean? I need to know who is possibly calling this number and what they are saying. I really want to be on the other end of that phone call.  If you need to call someone because you can’t get clean, is it really the toilet paper’s fault...or are you just a dumbass?